Luna's Great Adventure
by Anghel Higure
Summary: Mai totally original OC goes 2 teh Mario world and haz a ADVENTURE an FALLS IN LUV!
1. Meet Luna

Summary: My original character is dropped into the Mario universe and, like, a TOTALLY TRENDY fanfiction is born!1

_[This is going to suck...]_

Dimmy Start!

Luna is just a regular human girl who loves video games and has no other life worth mentioning. She is miserable with her undescribed life and wants to die.

One day she runs in her room crying and locks the door. She cuts herself because it's trendy and sobs, hugging her Xbox. Then she starts shooting some shit up in some generic shooter and tries to feel happier but can't. Luna looks around her room and strangely wants to play something else. Happier. Brighter. But she doesn't have any games like that, no way. Her BFF would laugh at her! But that's why she was sad. HE DUMPED HER OMG SOOO SADDD.

"You know what, screw him. The fuck with these stupid games, I'm gonna play something NO ONE MY AGE WOULD EVER PLAY!" She says to herself. She texts her friends asking what's unpopular with a stupid grin on her face.


	2. Totally Original

It had to be E rated with minimal violence and a really cartoony style. No blood. No cursing. Luna gaped at the stuff she was looking at. "The hell..." She mumbled to herself, holding a game box that had caught her eye. Some blue spiky animal-thing in an overused furry style smirked on the front. The game looked particularly stupid, so she put it back.

Then she looked up. Above the masses of cheap movie-games and fitness junk was another wierd-looking game. Luna picked it out and couldn't help but stare with an eyebrow raised. On the front was a cartoony human character with an enormous nose and a large, thick moustache. He appeared to be floating through space... "What the fuck is this shit." Luna said out loud. Beside her, a woman covered her son's ears and shook her head disapprovingly. "'Super Mario Galaxy'? Pffft. Who would play a game this dumb? And who could possibly like it?" Behind her multiple people snorted, trying to hide laughter. Right next to it was... "This dumb shit got a sequel? Woooowww." Luna frowned. This untrendy stuff was sooooo tough!

So she grabbed a random Call of Duty game and left. (Of course she paid for it, first.)


	3. NO STEALING!

The game was uninteresting compared to every other shooter she'd picked out of the gutters.

She lay on her bed bored as hell, thinking of the game she'd left there. "What the hell made me buy this dumb shit again?" She asked herself with a sigh.

"Hah..." A voice said.

Luna looked around. "OK who said that? Who's there?"

The voice ignored her and went on. "Oh, the teenage years..."

"OK SHUT UP!" Luna sez. Blood gushes out of her underwear.

"...Being completely ignorant to everything, and clinging to the silly notion that you're a special little snowflake..."

Luna stomped and shook her fists, sobbing. "BUT I **AM **SPECIAL! I'M A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY AND POPULAR _AND BEAUTIFUL AND POPULAR_ _**AND YOU'RE JEALOUS OF MEEEE!11**_"

"...But look and see: all those unique snowflakes look exactly like each other unless you've got them under a microscope."

Luna threw her phone because she was mad and trashed her room. "I'm original and unique and have a million followers on Facebook and everyone wants to be just like me...:" She whined sadly, cowering in the corner.

"No one wants to be you, Luna. By trying to be a somebody, you've become bland and useless. Be yourself."

She "NO! I HATE MYSELF! THIS IS ME!" She pointed at a picture of a generic, typical body-type (badly porportioned and disgustingly skimpy) model pinup she worshipped every morning. "I'M POPULAR AND BEAUTIFUL AND PO-"

"To use your own words, I'd tell you this... SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"NOOOO LIEK U LEAV MAI ROOM!111" She screamed.

"Oh, I'll leave..." A wierd dragonish-looking thing appeared. It wrapped its arms around Luna, who screamed. Her obnoxiously high voice shattered the TV screen and enormous mirror before she went unconsious. "Now, to find a way to torture this little curse on fanfiction..." The creature looked through Luna's memories of the earlier day. "Not Sonic. That would be cruel even for me..." Her vision continued. The final game before Call of Duty 5262019. "Super Mario Bros..." It looked to Luna's enormous setup of Xbox stuff. Nothing under M rating. "It's perfect. The author would be pleased."

Volchellsky clawed open a dimensional portal and chucked the Mary Sue in. He/she wiped his/her paws as if he/she had touched something disgusting. "That's because I _did_." He/she growls to no one in particular. Then the creature vanishes, laughing to him/her-self.


	4. We Love Luna!

Luna woke up to the wierdest thing ever. Colors were EVERYWHERE and COLORFUL and stuff. Mushroom people and turtle dudes were scattered around randomly, looking at her like 'dude wtf is this bitch' and conversing with each other. "Liek OMG dis iz liek wen i waz on drugzzz..." She sez. Then she seaz that shes a turtul too and is all liek 'omg cool.' (Think, Bowser recolor with giant tits even though she's a REPTILE) And she haz wings and breathes AIR!11

She sat there all stupid and then was like 'omg where's the cut marks on my wrists?' And she cut herself. She healed immediately and was all liek "YAYZ! I'M INVINCIBLE!111"

She jumped off a cliff but couldn't fly because she weighed 8,000 pounds. But she did make a good-sized crater, though.

Volchellsky randomly spawned out of nowhere and looked at the mush-filled crater below him/her-self. "I thought you agreed to torture the bitch first." He/she said.

Oh, but I will...


	5. TRUE LUV

Luna woke up again and looked down at the cliff she'd just jumped off of.

Grambi apeared to her. "Don't do that again, dumbass." He said.

"FUCK YOU I COULD DO WHATEVR I WANT!1111" Luna screamed and jumped off again. This time instead of dying and losing a life, she felt all the pain of falling 300,000 feet at nearly the speed of sound.

"Owwie!" She said. Luna looks up and is all like "OH NO HOW CAN I GET UP AGAIN"

She looked around the valley. It was getting dark and she was scared.

"Oh, I'm just a useless, undeveloped female character! I DUN WANNA DIE!" She broke down and sobs. "I WANT MY BF !1111111111"

Something rustles in the bushes and she looks up.

Standing before her was the most handsome creature she'd ever seen, liek EVUR. His majestic primary-colored mohawk stood proudly. (Oh gawd, I can't write like this...)

Luna started to drool. "Ohhh, hellooo~!" She said in her obnoxious grating, high-pitched voice.

Lemmy smiled nervously. "H-hi to you to-" Then he caught sight of her ginormous tits and stares, growing increasingly terrified by the second.

But Luna's a retard and is all like "u liek 'em? LETS YIFF LOLOL"

Lemmy runs away crying for his daddy, leaving our poor protagonist all alone.

"no1 luvz meee..." she sobs. "OH I WISH SOME1 WOULD CARE ABOWT MEEE~~!" She says, expecting something magical to happen because this is a fanfiction.

Hah, what a _loser_.


	6. Heart Broken!

Luna trudged along, leaving rivers of tears behind her. She didn't feel it getting hotter and OMG! SHE FALLS OFF A CLIFF!111oneone

Instead of falling into the lava, a magical sparkling light and Justin Beiber music save her. (That's some hardcore shit, gaiz...) She finds herself in the arms of yet another handsome creature. His muscles tense around her in surprise, so strong yet she knew they could always be used to protect her... (Not Morton yet, ok?)

Ludwig looked at the pathetic creature he'd just saved, frowning disgustedly.

Luna is in his arms, giggling giddilly. "oh, THANK youuuuu~!" She says, every vowel punctuated with a screech. "now wat shud i do 2 REEEEAALLYY thank u~?" She purr-grates, puffing out her chest in his face. She doesn't even get her arm around him when he chucks her into a wall, cussing in some foreign language.

Luna stays on the ground, sobbing. "BAAAAWWWWW Y U NO LIEK MAI TITS?" She screech-cries at Ludwig, who cringes at each word.

"You act like a _complete whore! _Do you think I could _stand _five seconds, much less five _**hours **_(lol) with a complete Mary Sue such as you?"

Luna stamps her feet (she's standing now gaiz) , whining like the total bitch she is. "BUT UR SUPOSED 2 LUV MEEEEEE!"

"No, I am most certainly not."

"BUT WHYYYYYYYY?"

"Because I'm gay." And with that, he walks away. (Hah, that rhymes!)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11111 MAI ONLY WEAKNESS!1111111" Luna screams and dies. She respawns back over the lava pit, where she dies an agonizing slow death. Then she respawns back at the wall Ludwig smashed her into. Her blood is everywhere, but she still looks perfect (according to herself) and SOOO GORGEOUS.

she sees a castle and is all liek 'cool im going there' so she starts going

the adventure will continue SUBSCRIBE 2 ME GAIZ I NEED SUPPORT!111

[[Note: I've got nothing against Ludwig or gays. Just picking on Luna!]]


	7. A New Love

Luna looks to the castle and is all like 'dis is da shit i wanna go inside' but she can't just walk inside. She flutters her magical wings and sexy sparkles fly everywhere in a blinding dust. The sparkles catch under her wings and she flies, up and over the lava moat and to the gate, which has been left open for no reason.

The castle is sooo sexy on the inside. "i wanna yiff whoevr livs hear~!" Luna thinks out loud. She hears voices and, instead of hiding like any creature with some amount of brains, she rushes toward them. This time it's two really buff looking guy turtles. One is pink and another has a star-shaped birthmark on his eye. Luna's eyes widen and drool slimes the floor under her. "OHHHH HELLOOOOO~!" She squeals. "I'M HERE TO FIND A PARTNER HEEHEEHEE" The two look at each other, dumbfounded.

"Who da heil are you?" Roy asks.

Luna stares at Roy. "r u gay cuz i met another one of u and hes gay-"

Roy stomps his feet. "DON'T YOU DARE EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" He roars.

But this is something you can't trust Luna with...! "NO WAI FUK U I CAN SAY WUTEVR I WANT!1111" She roar-screeches back.

Roy readies one of his fists to punch Luna! But Morton stops her!

"I say." Morton says. "The young lass here should be treated with respect, dear brother... As we well know, violence has caused far too many a problem when it comes to Father's attempts..."

Roy's jaw drops. "What the...? Who da HEIL are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"I am Morton written by a loving fangirl, same as you, my dear brother~" He turns to Luna and smiles lovingly. "Now let us go, my love. Let us frolic in the fields of fire flowers!"

"OK LETS GO YAAAAY!" Luna sez, about to skip away with him when she sees another Koopaling from the corner of her eye.

"Hello! I'm Iggy and I like porn!" He says, smiling proudly. Then he does a wierd dance and moonwalks away humming 'I'm a Gummy Bear.'

A loud roar came from within the castle.

Luna jumps and starts grinning.

"My love?" Morton asks.

"whoevr made that roar I WANNA MARRY!"

Luna runs toward the inner castle, leaving a sobbing, heartbroken Morton behind...

(I regret nothing about this chapter. NOTHING, I tell you!)


	8. Bedroom Activities

So like, Luna gets to teh 1NN3R C4STL3 and ish all like "ZOMG DIS IS EVEN SMEXXXIER!" Lava flows from the walls, reminding her of her beautiful majestic spechul magical super-long super-straight perfectly smooth red hair. The maker of teh ROAR is standing there with a beautiful but obviously pregnant human princess. He's sobbing his eyes off and she's staring at the ground with a [mood I can't remember the name of] expression.

"I'm sorry..." She started, but he cuts her off.

"PEACHY HOW COULD YOU?" He bawls. "I told you NO MORE KIDS and you show up with that PLUMBER'S-"

"Sometimes I wonder if I should have STAYED WITH HIM! HES MORE LOVEING THAN ULL EVER BE!11"

They continued arguing and luna being the ADHD bitch she is lets everyone know how bored she is

"**SHUT T3H FUK UP!11**" She screams at Peach.

Peach turns to Bowser and literally sez "wtf is this bitch"

He turns back and sez "i dont know and why isnt she tryin to yiff my other kids right now"

"**IM NOT A FURRY!11 IM A SCALY GRRRRRRRRRR...!111**" then Luna lunges, pushing Peach down a cliff where she and Mario's baby die in lava. She then leaps into Bowser's arms and batts her sparkly multicolored eyes at him.

He stands there in shock and wonder and anger at the bitch who'd just killed the mother of his children. Without any further debate, he shrugged. "Oh, well! She cheated, so I like you now Luna! But I don't LOVE you yet!"

Luna then slaps a huge, emote-style :D face on and squeals. "**WE'RE FRIENDS NOW YAAAY! I ONLY NEED 2 KILL UR KIDS AND THEN UR MINE 4 REALZ HAHA! :DDD"**

Bowser puts on a serious face. "Luna, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, despite being a horrible, now single, father and dying every time Mario-kun wants me to, I really love my kids and they love me back!" He steps away from her and she watches still with the :D face not understanding a thing he's saying. "So you shouldn't kill my kids, okay?"

"OK! BUT I NEED 2 KILL SOME1 AND ALSO DO U HAV SOME INTARDNET I LIKE NARUTO AND WANA WACH IT AND-"

"Honeeey, please calm down. Stop screaming i need to get in bed with u"

Luna loox around and sees shes in a bedroom magicly

"omg yaaay lets yiff heeheehee im so nervous this is mai phurst tiem tho"

So she got in bed...

With Bowser...

And they...

THEY...

Well actually, to prevent me from writing something almost equivalent to sexting (which is lame and I find typos/ chatspeek to be the hugest turnoff on the world), Vollchellesky appeared and granted Bowser back his brain. He sees the fugly scrawny [in Koopa standards] rainbowneon bitch he's in bed with and making out with.

And. He. Flips.

He flips so much that he flips between dimensions and sees who Luna really is under the Koopa form, and when he sees _that_ he flips again.

After chucking the bitch into a few walls [like father like son, you know?] and falcon punching her into a few more walls including the fourth one she lays there silently. Her soul weeps.

Luna raises her arms to the heavens above [imagine the Y U NO face on her for maximum lulz] and screams her sorrow. "**WHYYYY? WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS?**!" She turns you. YOU. "**WHYYY DO U ENJOY MY PAIN SOOO?**" She screeches, then breaks down into a pile of sobbing and neon and tits. Of course, she cuts herself too and this time she manages to bleed. Blood seeps from her arms and flows down the floor, scarlet red just like Bowser's hair...

xXxXx

Meanwhile, Junior stared at himself in the mirror. "Gee, there's got ta be _someone_ I can cosplay as this weekend! If I don't, my online friends will think I'm a total wuss!" He turns back to the mirror and sighs. "Man, if only Lemmy was here! If he didn't commit suicide after his week of nightmares after seeing Neonbitch Koopa, he'd know what to do!"

Looking out the door and across the hall, Junior sees the door to Lemmy's room...

_I apologize for any mindf*ck this has caused or will cause. _

_Gah, I hate this fic and want it to die so badly, but SOO MANY IDEAAAS, you know? And I just HATE sad endings, but how can an anti-MarySue fic have a happy ending?_

_..._

_..._

_...YEAH! A CHALLENGE!_

_Oh, and... sorry for the wait. I can't BELIEVE how lazy I was to put this off! I mean, one well-written chapter takes, what, five to ten minutes to write? Compared to the 5+ hours I take drawing, that's nothing!_

_And that last thing? That's a kawaii little thing I'd love calling... umm... KAWAII! *shot hard*_

_No, it's a bonus story. It'll only last for about one... maybe two more chapters though. Enjoy!_

_-Dimmy the Fool_


End file.
